Thursday, March 17, 2016

Lucky's 13 Best Escape Tactics In '80s Lucky Charms Commercials

It's time to reflect on our favorite Irish leprechaun mascot Lucky from Lucky Charms cereal. He is perhaps the most beloved marshmallow salesman of all-time and his commercials were always a magical adventure...to escape those thievin' kids! I mean, they new it was just cheerios with chopped-up circus peanuts, right? (For real.)

But whatever you might have thought of the actual cereal, the commercials were really fun and creative (even that messed-up whale incident.) So here's how it usually went down. The kids would spot Lucky and attempt to cereal-nap his Lucky Charms at any cost. Lucky would use his magic to create some means of transportation to get away. His escape tactic usually backfired and the kids would find a way to get the upper hand and get the Lucky Charms. (Maybe if they should have just asked him in the first place!)

Here are Lucky's 13 best escape tactics that kept those kids from stealing his Lucky Charms (for at least 10 seconds):

Rollercoaster

The only thing Lucky forgot was a few attendants to keep the kids away from the handbrake.

Time Machine


So it's not as cool as a DeLorean, but a rainbow wormhole would still be a fun way to time travel.

Ice Cave

Wasn't this the plot of Conan the Destroyer? They really should've taken advantage of Lucky being trapped in ice and gave us Lucky Charms ice cream bars. (You know I'm right.)

A Labyrinth of Rainbow Roads

This would've worked great if he hadn't played like the Riddler and gave them a clue.

Swinging Across a Ravine

Sometimes you gotta take a risk like Pitfall Harry to protect your gold (or Lucky Charms.) It's also apparent that Condors are on the extinction list because there eating too much sugar.

Hot Air Balloon

A perfect plan that could only be foiled by a...tree-climbing mountain lion?

Shrink

Good plan but next time you want to be a human Shrinky Dink amongst a pack of mushrooms, give Papa Smurf a heads up first so he can help hide you.

Flying Carpet

Next time shove a few marshmallows in the lamp before the trip.

Raft

The taking-a-raft-ride-in-the-Everglades plan might need to be reexamined.

Circus Cannon

Note to self: Watch more Wile E. Coyote cartoons for reference.

Space Ship

Maybe he should've used E.T.'s phone to called ahead first.

Computer

Forget the Superman III computer plan, just give the kids the pack of Skittles inside the box and they'll leave your bowl of rainbow feces alone.

Hang Glider

Like, wow. Nevermind the fact that Lucky almost plummeted to his death, we just want those new purple horseshoes!